Me Against the World

Femme Noire

2007-07-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

"Femme nue, femme noire
Vétue de ta couleur qui est vie, de ta forme qui est beauté
J'ai grandi à ton ombre; la douceur de tes mains bandait mes yeux"

-Leopold Senghor

About 15 years ago, these lines were paraphrased in a Malayalm weekly magazine. Most malayalis who were old enough to read during those years can easily guess that the column was 'Sahithyavaraphalam" by M. Krishnan Nair. I've ben searching for a translation for the entire poem for years and it was 2 days ago that I found it on the internet.

Here is the translation; any commentry is just uncalled-for

Nude woman, black woman,
Clothed in your color which is life, your form which is beauty!
I grew in your shadow, the sweetness of your hands bandaged my eyes
And here in the heart of summer and of noon, I discover you, promised land from the height of a burnt mountain,
And your beauty strikes my heart, like the lightning of an eagle.

Nude woman, dark woman,
Ripe fruit of the dark flesh, somber ecstasies of black wine, mouth that causes my mouth to sing;
Savanna of pure horizons, savanna trembling under the fervent caresses of the East wind,
Carved tom-tom, tense tom-tom, grumbling under the fingers of the conqueror,
Your low contralto voice is the song of the lover.

Nude woman, dark woman,
Oil unwrinkled by winds, oil smooth on athletes' thighs, on the thighs of the princes of Mali,
Delightful play of the spirit, image of red gold on your flaming skin.
In the shadow of your hair, my anguish is relieved by the nearby suns of your eyes.

Nude woman, black woman,
I sing your passing beauty, fixing your form in eternity,
Before a jealous fate turns you to ashes to feed the roots of life.

2005-09-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

September 14th was Onam. I didn't know that until my mom told me on the phone. It was also my sister's wedding anniversary. She paused for a few seconds hoping I would wish her. I knew this, and just droned, "OK". That's me, homies.

Onam was one of the best holidays. 10 days of holidays, nice weather and excellent food - plantain chips, the "kaalan" for the feast,..Most importantly no waking up early to go stand and sleep in the church, as for X-mas and easter. I never really mastered the art of standing and sleeping. My dad is very good at it. I just couldn't balance myself.

Onam is a festival about a mythical demon king who was benevolent despot. His government was largely socialist . Where else have you heard of such festival? We Malayalis rock!!!

My friend Noah is throwing a party at his place tonight. He has recently purchased a top-of-the-line beer funnel, and we're going to christen it tonight. Probably not the right expression, since he's jewish.

If you don't even know what a funnel looks like, see the movie 'Old school'.

Once Upon a Time...

2005-09-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

..In Mexico.

The movie I was watching on Friday night.

I refuse to feel ashamed or guilty to say I love the 'El Mariachi' series. But Rodriguez stretches this a little too much with the Antonio being called just 'El' and Johnny's fake arm. And William Dafoe as a drug kingpin? Totally lame!

But there was Salma Hayek, athough she appears only in flashbacks as she was already dead when much of the story takes place. Ah...yes, Salma...isn't she the reason these movies are being made? Is there any heterosexual man in the last 10 years who hasn't fantasized about her?

There is a scene when 'El' reminisces his days with his beloved. Snuggled against each other, she asks him in her husky, sensual voice,

"¿Qué quiere usted de vida?"

The answer doesn't come until 'El' kills the corrupt general, destroys the coup d'etat and kills Barillo, the gangster.

"Quiero ser libre".

I whispered the same line. Yes, if I had to chose one thing, that would be to be free.

If you can learn something about life, and about yourself from a Robert Rodriguez movie, I guess your are in pretty good shape!

Edasseri Govindan Nair

2005-09-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

Edasseri Govindan Nair is given the epithet the 'Poet of Strength'. He is celebrated now, more than when he was alive. It's indeed surprising the he never won any major award while alive. A contemporary of many poets including G. Shankarakurup, Edasseri was never considered part of any trinity. While Valayar Ramavarma thundered about the struggles of the working class and P Kunhiraman Nair sang about the beauty of the North Kerala landscape, Edasseri's eyes wandered among the hills, paddy fields and streets of Valluvanad (north-central Kerala, parts of Malappuram, Palakkad, Thrissur and Kozhikode districts). His pictures were rough, humanist murals of this region and its people, one of who I consider myself to be.

The first Edasseri poem I read was in 9th grade - his most popular 'Poothappaattu'. This is a story based on a Valluvanadan myth that behind the hills, there roams a 'pootham' or a vampire who is so lonely that he steals young children. Please, don't attribute any pedophilia to this, we Valluvanadan people are much too innocent to think about such things. The poem sings praises of a mother Nangeli who searches for her missing son only to discover that a Pootham has lured him away. Her fortitude and maternal love is the centerpiece of this great work.

A few years later, I was vacationing at Kunnamkulam and was browsing old dusty books from the shelf on the second floor of my grandparent's house. I started reading Edasseri's selected poems, probably was one of the language textbooks one of my aunts had to learn at college. The first poem I came accross was 'Kuttippuram Paalam' (The bridge at Kuttippuram). It was so taken over that I immediately shared it with my cousin. The next morning we were up by six, and off to Kuttipuram by bus, just to experience these lines
"Irupathimoonnolam lakshamippol
Chilavaakki nirmicha paalathinmel
Abhimaanpoorvam njanerinilppaa-
-nadiyiloodozhukunna peraar nokki."

(On this mighty bridge worth millions
I stand with pride of our success
And below I see Perar flow meek and quiet
Only to roar again next monsoon)

I have taken my liberties in paraphrasing, but this is what the poet wants to convey in the first few lines.

Edasseri was probably the first poet to genuinely raise concerns about the dangers of development and a mechanized world, that would not only alter the physical landscape, but also change the culture permanently. 'Kuttippuram Paalam" was written during a time when literature concerning the environment did not exist in any Indian languange. His words are wise and his admiration for technology bringing common good is genuine. Yet he is nostalgic about everything that is replaced and hopes we act cautiously. Now many years later, sandmining has lit the pyre for Perar, we can only lament that we didn't heed to Edasseri more often.

Grilled catfish and other happenings of the past week

2005-08-15T17:04:00.000-07:00

My parents arrived last Monday. My dad has lost almost 20 pounds, most of it muscle, unfortunately.

Since there was only one building key (an additional one costs $50), I had to come up with a scheme to let my dad know that I am home, so that he could open the door. I tried the two-way radio thing, but with less than desirable results. I gave up and got a Verizon local calling plan for $15 a month.

Is all the Indian food making me a little too soft? I am listening to Goerge Benson and Neil Young in my car than AC/DC and Maiden. Even Dr Dre's Chronic - I consider it the best piece of music ever made - seemed a little irritating.

Took my parents to a Louisiana restaurant on Sunday. Now these are people who cannot tell the difference between Cajun jambalaya and clam chowder. The Chicken Po'boy that my dad ordered was very good. The grilled catfish was delicious. My mom, the hard-to-please cook, was very impressed and waxed about its taste for 5 minutes while later talking to my sister. I alone, was given an overcooked burger (I did ask for medium).

The next three weekends will be of relentless travel - Atlantic City/Philly, Niagra Falls and Minneapolis/Duluth.

I miss sports - MLB and pre-season football games. This new apartment has no TV.

Manny "cannot be Manny" anymore.

2005-08-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

I am a fan of Manny Ramirez. He is arguably the best right hitter in the game today. The best RBI machine. The reigning World Series MVP. Inspite of a poor average, he is within top two leaders for both home runs and RBIs in the American League. I, a grown man of 29 years, spent $70 on a jersey that bears his number last Novemebr.

What is not to like about him? To me, his dislike of the media spotlight is certainly a point of admiration rather than aversion. His crimes on the field (defense and base running) can be forgiven. What can not be overlooked is his attitude. His tantrums. Manny thinks he is bigger than the game itself, let alone the team. Every season he suddenly becomes frustrated with the media, fans and the spotlight. Once in every 30 games or so he wants to sit out. Sometimes he wants to DH. And Red Sox have given in more times than they should have.

Manny is clever although he appears to be crazy with his bad hair and wierd slacks. He rarely shows any emotion on or off the field. That is why he isn't hated like others who have issues with the team. Remember Nomar and Pedro? But with him, its always "Manny being Manny" BS.

Manny was trying to gamble with the talk about Mets being interested in an outfielder. They are only team stupid enough to shoulder some of his humungous contract. Red Sox would certainly not give up their best run producer without the other team taking a big chunk of what is owed to him over the next 3 years. Ramirez certainly wouldn't want to go the Royals or the Reds. He would like to stay on the East coast, preferably in New York, where he grew up. He has constantly expressed his desire to be a Yankee, but that a'int happening. Matsui is doing such a great job for the Yanks and Torre wouldn't want to deal with Manny's idiosyncricies.

What should the Red Sox do? I would say any trade offer that takes up
a reasonable percentage of his contract is good enough. Manny never seemed to really fit in. He is 33 now and offense isn't going to get much better than what he has now. If all that money is spent on pitching (both starting and middle relief) and on getting better defensive players, it could make a difference. Specially in the close game losses.

Other news:
Toga Party next Saturday. It will be my first one. I have been to very few costume parties and its going to be fun. Since my parents are coming the Monday after, I need to party hard. It will be a while before I can do that again.

Watched "Last Waltz" while I was out sick on friday due to a digestion problem (possible food poisoning, I think). This was the first time I heard so many songs by "The Band". I cannot say that I am a huge fan of folk rock. But these guys are very good musicians, especially Robbie Robertson. It was totally disappointing to see Muddy Waters not play the guitar and just sing "Ain't that a Man"!.

It was the first time I saw many of those artists perform on stage. The most important facet of the movie was a chance for people like me who were born after the flower children had turned to fruits or "gone back to the seeds" to see what rock n' roll was really like. The pleasure it gave you, and the toll it took while you were travelling with it on the road. Martin Scorsese, still in his thirties, captures on camera so beautifully how it was to be a rock musician before the money and show biz took over. Like Robbie Robertson remarked, the Last Waltz was truly a celebration, and I wonder when we can see another one again.

Morena De Mi Corazon

2005-07-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

The Desperado soundtrack. This is the opening song sung by Antonia Banderas himself. I was surprised to learn that he played a little guitar too for this tune.

I am getting this CD today. My friend Ricardo who is a amateur mariachi himself, gives this song the title 'the Mariachi Manifesto'.

Saludo,compañero!

Soy un hombre muy honrado,
Que me gusta lo mejor
A mujeres no me faltan,
Ni al dinero, ni el amor

En mi caballo
Por la sierra yo me voy
Las estrellas y la luna
Ellas me dicen donde voy

Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay mi amor
Ay mi morena,
De mi corazon

Me gusta tocar guitarra
Me gusta cantar el sol
Mariachi me acompana
Quando canto mi cancion

Me gustan tomar mis copas
Aguardiente es lo mejor
Tanbien el tequilla blanco
Con su sal le da sabor

Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay mi amor
Ay mi morena,
De mi corazon

Me gusta tocar guitarra
Me gusta cantar el sol
Mariachi mi acompana
Quando canto mi cancion

Me gustan tomar mis copas
Aguardiente es lo mejor
Tanbien el tequilla blanco
Con su sal le da sabor

Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay mi amor
Ay mi morena,
De mi corazon

Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay mi amor
Ay mi morena,
De mi corazon

This is what is happening

2005-07-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

I need new sponsors for my soccer shoes. The pair that use now, Adidas Samba, are too long and narrow. Too long that the toe of the shoe hits the ground before the inside of my feet stikes the ball, taking away much of the force and causing the ball to rise. I bungled and shot at goal last night. My teammates weren't mad because we were up by 7-0 at that point.
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I have turned into a Wikipedia addict. Most of my more sophisticated friends have sworn off it. But like philosophy, heavy metal music and quantum theory, I was initiated to Wikipedia much later. So the fascination is to stay for a while.

Here are some of the topics I searched and surfed last couple of weeks.

EZLN, EPL, FMLN, FSLN - all left wing movements in Mexico and central America.

Dual Power. A strategy proposed by Lenin for the revolutionary forces to defeat the establishment while alternative institutions created by them compete with those created by the enemy. It is a long article explaining how this has been adapted by the Zapatista.

CAFTA.

Roman History, Punic wars especially. I found couple of sites (outside wikipedia) that explained with diagrams, the battles of Cannae and Zama. Quite intersting.

The EPR paradox. "Schrodinger's cat" thought experiment. From there, I learnt recently of Schrodinger's interest in Vedanta. In his book Mein Welten sicht, he deals with Maya and Advaita of Sankara.

Ozzfest, Deftones, Rob Zombie, GWAR.

Lucky Lucciano, Frank Costello and the other mafia bosses of New York sindicate, especially since I have started watching past episodes of The Sopranos on HBO On Demand.

Salesians of Don Bosco. I went a school run by these guys and had a great time while I was there.

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Starwars Marathon Weekend

2005-06-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

Egged on by my peppy roomamte who goes hyper when the word Starwars is uttered, I watched all five movies of the franchise available on DVD (of course owned by my roomie Scott).

I am not going to write a review becuase this is much more than just movies. This, to many is philosophy. Some have compared the political setup of the Galactic Republic to various policitcal entities that have been established and proposed through the history of human civilization. From Plato's concept of aristocracy led by a 'Philosopher King', to the short lived Wiemar republic in Germany established immediately after World War I. I think all these allogories have made it attractive to a lot of people.

Although most people might dismiss it as escapist entertainment, Star Wars is really very elitist. For example, the presence of midi-chlorian in a person's blood determines the presence of the force, and the ability to control the galaxy. Again, Luke and Lieah have high midi-chlorian counts on account of being born to Aanakin, which suggests that leadership qualities are almost entirely genetic.

Though the republic's executive is unicameral, the power that the Jedi council holds on its decision is enormous. Further, no distinct judiciary seems to exist, or any other branch of law for that matter, that acts to check and balance the powers of the Chancellor and the Senate. The Republic is not a participatory democracy. The common people of the galaxy (people apart form the politicians and Jedi) have very insignificant say in everything that happens.

Perhaps, the biggest gripe I have is in the definition of light side and dark side of the force. Much could be unraveled while conducting a deconstructive reading of Starwars. The color of the sabers, the attire of the Jedi vs. that of the Sith, all of this could be a post-structuralist's delight. My problem lies in that good and evil are shown to be distinct, but not explained. What is the light side? Is Fear a quality of the dark side? The Jedi are supposed to be compassionate - but their compassion seems to be limited to the politicians. At the end of 'Return of the Jedi', Luke says Darth Vader still has a little of the good side in him. What is this good side - his paternal feelings for Luke? At the same time Luke's feelings for Darth Vader is considered a weakness. That seems illogical.

It was fortunate that I watched two other movies - Central Station (Portugese) and Motorcycle Diaries (Spanish), both directed by the Brazilian filmmaker Walter Salles. The latter was a great movie, but Central Station is one for the ages. More about that later.

2005-06-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

After much persuation from one of my coworkers I recently rented and watched "Sideways",a movie about wine, midlife crisis and whimsical lifestyle that defines American civilization

I have to say that despite very intelligent and funny moments through the 2 hours of this movie, this winner of many awards and touted as the best indie film of the year, was overall a disappointment. The main characters are two men in the their forties, one of them a failed writer Miles and the other, a fading actor Jack who is about to wed in a week. The two go on a trip accross the wine country in Southern California in an old Saab which pretty much represents their own lives.

Miles is obsessed with Pinot Noir. He is divorced, defeated and is a borderline alchoholic. His last hope is the novel that he dreams to get published as he anxiously waits to hear from his literary agent. Jack, is engaged to the daughter of a rich Real Estate businessman, but is aware that his acting career is past its best days. Far from a wine affictionado, his intention is to have guilt free sex before beginning a boring monogamous life. As the story progresses, we learn more about the past life of Miles. His complete lack of self esteem and his emotional dependence on wine. It also brings to light Jack's chemerical nature where he goes to any length to satisfy his venereal pleasures.

None of the actors come out very convincing. Maya, played by Virginia Madsen who plays a waitress who Miles tries to entreat, is probably the better of the four main characters. The character Stephanie, who works at a winery, played by Sandra Oh has very little acting potential. Paul Giamati has his momets ("I am not drinking f**king Merlot!", "Are you chewing gum?") where he passes of a wine connoisseur. He fails however, to portray the despondency that the writers would have intended in the character.

The film shines occassionaly. Like when Jack offers to drive Miles' car only to intentionally slam it on a tree to create an alibi for his broken nose. And the scene where the two friends get into a a skirmish with a group of impatient golfers. The best of all is when we see Miles waiting in his car outside the house of jack's fiance, upon his intstructions, so that they would believe hi story about the accident.

Alexander Payne's characters are not saints, but are likeable because of the wistful sorrow about them. This is probably his best movie, and much like "About Schmidt". Not unlike the others, "Sideways" too ends with a glimmer of hope in Miles' otherwise pitiful life.

Sideways was supposed to be a vintage, but at the end it left an aftertaste of the $12 Carbernet/Shiraz blend you find in the shelves of your corner liquor store. No sediments but still ordinary.

Goooaaalllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-06-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

I spent my adolescent years in the 80's in Kerala, where football was way more popular than cricket (I am talking about the game that is played primarily with the foot, with a round ball). A game that is not expensive to play and with few technical stuff, it was the staple part of the life of an malayali adult male.

Kerala did not have mega clubs like Mohun Bagan or East Bengal, so the Santosh Trophy, the Inter-state championship, was huge. The earliest recollection I have is that of 1981 when it took place in my home town. The stadium was a few hundred yards from my house. The star of Kerala was Kuttappan, a stocky man, who stood at 5 ft 2, but has good dribbling skills. I was in first grade, but watching him score a hat-trick against a weak Gujarat team, I became a big fan. My aunts teased me with the nickname Kuttappan for a while. But Kuttappan and the kerala side met its match against the mighty Bengal, with the legendary Bhaskar Ganguly warding off every shot at goal. Eventually Bengal won the trophy beating Raliways.

Another big event was the now defunt International Nehru cup. This was the only chance for malayalees to watch International football. Although most teams that took part were composed of the second wrung players for most countries, we did see some players who later went on to achieve fame in International scene. Neri Pumpedo, the GK of the 1986 Argentian world cup side, Igor Balenov and Rinat Dasaev from the Soviet Union were some of them.

My interest was wide enough to follow Mohun Bagan and East Bengal. Most players form Kerala ended up playing for these two teams, starting from Xaviar Pius in the late 70's to I.M. Vijayan and Jo Paul Ancheri in the late 90's. Both were from my own town. In fact as a kid I remember watching Vijayan play when he was a 13 year old. I remember another guy called Kannan, slightly older, who used to kick his ass. Wonder what happened to him.

In college, while the rest of the class teamed up to play cricket, three of us rebels, started the official 'ECE-97 FC'. Funds were raised through contributions - sometimes through a little intimidation, to buy the ball. Afternoon classes were bunked in favour of the game that was keenly contested. All the fun came to an end when my dad who was a prof in the same college, caught me playing at 2:00 p.m when I should have been in my class learning Digital Signal Processing.

For nearly 8 years I had nothing to do with football. This winter I made the decision to dorn cleats again. I joined the ZOgSports soccer league, where I was teamed up with 14 total strangers. In our third match yesterday, I scored my first goal in the league!. I was on a counter attack, a good crossed ball was not trapped by the opposing team's defender and there it was, right on the sweetest spot possible! The goalkeeper was on the wrong side of the post and all I had to do was to punch it in. Woohoo!

We won the game 4-1 and I feel like a million bucks.

Chris Hani

2005-04-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

April 10th was the anniversary of the passing away of one of the greatest men that ever lived on this planet - Chris Hani.

Chris Hani was not just a political activist. He was a leader of a generation, not just for South Africans, but for every human being who hates oppression, persecution and obscurantism. To many Hani is the a symbol for hatred towards the caucasian race. The truth cannot be any farther.
He struck terror into the minds of the tyrants. Chris Hani was the part of Umkhonto we Sizwe or MK, the armed resistance wing jointly controlled by the ANC and the South African Communist Party. He was its Chief of Staff till 1990 when it suspended operations.

Twelve years ago, he was gunned down near his home in Boksburg. What the white terrorists did not know was that his legacy could not be destroyed by a few bullets. Eleven years after his assasination, he was selected as the 20th greatest South African of all time.

To quote Samuel Mqhayi, the bard of South Africa:
"What could we have offered as sacrifice?
What is a more fitting offer for a people's sacrifice?
If not the bravest from among their sons The beloved of the nation?"

Comrade, we salute you. You have not died in vain.

The following is his short biography in his own words.

Bonds hits 704

2005-02-24T04:12:00.000-08:00

I love this guy. He is everything I want to be - strong, alone and obnoxious, but always coming out victorious. Barry Bonds came out swinging in the new conference and the press who given a choice, would print his name with expletive infront of it, looked up and turned around and hung its head down, in the same fashion hundreds of pitchers have seen their fastball take a trip to the bay in SBC park.
``You guys are like re-running stories,'' Bonds said to more than 100 reporters in attendance. ``This is old stuff. It's like watching 'Sanford and Son.' It's almost comical, basically. ... Are you guys jealous, upset, disappointed, what?''

Classic stuff.

Whether he has taken steroids or not this man is no doubt the most talented man in baseball at least for the last 25 years. He has become what he is because of hard work. The media would like somebody who would suck up to them, like spineless Mr nice guy Derek Jeter or A-rod. Barry is different. In Giants locker room Barry has "wall" made by couches that prevents reporters from getting close to his locker. I hope he reaches 755 this season (alt hought that is unlikely) and we'll hear more whining from some sore losers from S.I and ESPN.

Barry is the Wilt Chamberlain of baseball. He is a real bad muthaf***er.

Thoughts on SuperBowl 39

2005-02-12T08:44:00.000-08:00

This is kind of getting jaded. A close game, the Patriots win by 3, the difference is a
Vinateri filed goal. Deja Vu? McNabb simply proved his critics right. He has great football
IQ, but poor passing execution. All his turnovers were badly thrown passes, not bad
decisions. Can he improve? Of course, the guy's 28 and is just peaking. The next 5-6 years he'll dominate the QBs in the league with stats and leadership.
Give Rodney his due. Everybody was praising TO for walking the walk, but Harrison's job in the injury depleted secondary has been extraordinary. He is the best safety in the league, period. I don't understand why was overlooked in the pro-bowl voting. His tackle numbers are almost double the league average. The only reason he doesn't have more interceptions is because of a man who they call Teddy Bruschi who has the previlege of standing a few yards in front of him on the field. Sure, Rodney brags a lot, but with this kind of performance for the last 3 years, he ought to.
Two young players to watch out for at the safety position - Troy Polamalu (Pittsburgh), and Roy Williams (Dallas).
I think Charlie Weis will be missed more than Romeo Crenell by the New England Coaching
staff.
This was the worst half time show ever. Mcartney learned in the most painful way that he was terribly out of vougue. The people who were paid by Fox to dance near the stage were actually wearing headphones and were proabably lsitening to Chingy on their iPods. I mean, how dumb can you be to have teens and 20 somethings, wearing FUBU and Baby phat to rock to 'Hey Jude'?

Eric Clapton would have been my choice, but hey, I'm an old fashioned guy!. Again he would have created controversy with 'Cocaine'.

Surviving the storm

2005-01-24T08:58:00.000-08:00

Surviving the storm-------------------
The gods of snow dumped more than 12 inches in my town. Everybody knew it was coming,and so, I took the necessary preparation. I had learnt that from last year, where I had to lived on nothing but boiled potatoes, soymilk and turkey breast for 3 days during theNoreaster. My roomie Steve succintly explained the situation while talking to his girlfriend, "Matt & I, we have two 12 packs of Guiness, half a bottle of Hennesey and an unopened Jack. We should be OK."
5 hours of ESPN NFL 2K5 keep the Saturday night alive. The game is good, but I still think Maddedn 2005on my Xbox is far better. This is the only part where I become an unabashed supporter ofMicrosoft. Xbox rules!
Sunday was, like any given Sunday. Not really. It was special. The best two teams, New Englandand Pittsburgh battled it out in the steel city. Although I was rooting heavily for the Patriots,and ecstatic in their win, in a way, I felt sad for Ben Roethlisburger, who lost his first game asa rookie. I have always been drawn to the underdog and Ben seemed more desrving my support than the sauve Brady. Ben is the working class hero many in this country need right now. He is very much the much malighed white middle america who are seen as responsible for the Bush victory. Ben can be a symbol for this social class and be a role model for a lot of youngsters. I think he has great potential as a quaterback with his strength and poise.

This and that

2005-01-12T13:04:00.000-08:00

01-10-05
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Whoever said hell was a hot place, lied. The Devil could easily torture human beings through cold. I am convinced of that while driving to work this morning. Weather.com predicted sunny skies with a high of 52 degrees (farenheit, ofcourse). My place, right on the Newark bay wasn't bad, although I had to zip up my Docker's jacket. I parked in the lot three blacks from my office and walked into thechill. The 5 minute walk was unbearable. I couldn't feel my feet. My legs from my knees downfelt like logs of wood. I put on a brave face and pushed my Raiders baseball hat back on my shaven head. My ears (i am blessed with the biggest ear to face ratio among most human beings) were stung really bad.

I know what I am wearing the rest of the week. The woolen beanie cap that has UNCOOL written all over it.

01-12-05
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Yesterday, it was the 'leg day' at the gym. Even before you go you know it's gonna hurt, if not the next morning, probably the one after.And I am testifying that!
Few realize the importance of sqats, deadlifts and lunges. Their leg routine is typically, leg raises, hamstring curls and leg extensions. You are missing the biggest muscle in your body, people!. Yes, the gluetes! When you sit your ass at your desk, 8 hours,you're not giving it any exercise. Even when the boss catches you reading Bennifer gossip and gives you that look that makes you think, "God, my ass is on fire". To me, squats are probably the most important exercise. Deadlifts come a close second, followed by bench presses. It takes a while to get the form right, and for god's sake, don't use the Smith machine!. None of the compound exercises are meant to be performed in one plane of motion and that is the restriction Smith puts into every exercise. Go directly to the free squat rack and pratice with just the bar. Then slowly add the plates for more weight.

For deadlifts, I thing the best version for the beginners is the Sumo style, when your have a wider-than-normal stance, and a narrow grip. I prefer the Romanian style, though.

Email me (smpulickottil@yahoo.com) if you need free fitness advice.

Why I believe

2004-10-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

WheneverI think of my blog which has not seen a post in many months, I am prompted to writeabout sports. In fact sports today takes up most of my time after work and workouts. But then, that would be the only thing to write about. Another thought that holds me back is that most of my readers, I think, would be 'Desi's or people of Indian origin. My attention for the past three years have been grabbed by the three American sports - football, basketball and baseball - in that order. Most of these sports don't make any sense to that group.

Most of the people that I see and interact with everyday are Desis or more specifically, Desis who like me have come to the United States after spending 20+ years in India. Judging from their reaction to my enthusiasm for American sports I have elicited the following conclusion - they think I am a wannabe. Sincerely, I do not put an effort into being controversial and confrontational, that's just my style. But, this reaction from the 'Indian Culture police' is actually an encouragement.They have branded me a turncoat because I have no idea what is going on in the world of cricket today. The Austrlian tour of India is raging and all I have to talk about is the Red Sox.

Yes, the Red Sox. The team under the curse. The ball club that has epitomized the irrational hopes of the Irish working class in the city of Boston. Even after eightysix years of disappointment the Red Sox nation chants, "This is the year". Two years ago when I came to this city, I was a fan of football and basketball. Regarding baseball, I was of the of the 'poorer cousin of cricket' opinion. But I think twenty four months of indoctrination can change anybody, and I was just a bored man in his late twenties - too old for the beach, too young to sit and read at a Cafe, and too single to do anything else. So my refuge was the couch,and baseball was always the politically correct thing to watch during summer.

Last year, in 2003 a few days into October, before the ALCS began, I convinced myself that I hate the Yankees. They were the filthy rich, who believed money could buy victory. I cnveniently forgot that Boston was second in the spending list. To me a victory for the Red Sox meant a triump of will over wealth. A defeat of the evil empire would be a source of hope of the world's oppressed and downtrodden. But the Red Sox effort came short. Game 7 - they blew a four run read in the seventh and lost in the 11th inning. The Yankee defeat in the World Series brought some relief, but the dream was still unachieved. Pre-season arms race and the barbs exchanged between the owners, all added to my excitement. The regular season saw hope rise, fall and rise again. After a perfect ALDS against the Angels, the Sox started their battle against the Yankees.

The first two games were comfortable wins for the Yankees. The starting pitching was subpar, the offence was in slumber. Then came the massacre at Fenway on the chilly Saturday evening on game 3. My friend and I were walking around Fenway only to see tearful faces leave the stadium unable to watch the bloodbath. Suddenly, it was a matter of salvaging some pride, let alone winning. Boston Manager Terry Francona said he was going to look at it one game at a time. "It starts looking a little daunting if you start looking at too big of a picture", he added. Every TV and radio station reminded that in the history of baseball no team had comeback from 0-3 defecit. Hell, nobody had even forced a game 7. Even one win seemed unlikely and the getting to the world series was ruled out even by the most optmistic fans. Then came two nights of bltizkrieg from the bat of David 'Papi' Ortiz. 6-4 win in Game 4. 5-4 in the 5th. Then Curt Schilling, the lead ace comes back with a stitched up ankle and shuts up fiftyfive thousand Yankee fans in the Bronx. It was turning out to be a miracle in the making - a game 7 in Yankee Stadium, with the breeze blowing in the Sox's favour. Through this week my life had been miserable. Every night I had to be awake till midnight, and even after the games were over, the styed back to watch what the managers and players had to say. I was reading the article on Sports sections of websites and newspapers over and over again. Here is something I noticed - a lot of people felt like the Sox was going to win. Even the poll on NY Daily News showed 48 % voting that the Sox would win. Figures from other cities when I checked were: Chicago 72%, LA 64%, Omaha 68% all in favour of the Sox. I even had a bet with my friends that I would shave half my beard off (I just didn't remind them that the bet didnot specify that the other half should remain intact).

I don't need to write in this blog what happened on Wednesday night. That is history. Now I wait for Saturday 8:00 to arrive when I'll be ready with pizza and beer. Bring on the Cardinals! Go Red Sox!

My project ends next Friday and I might have to leave the city of Boston very soon. If you have seen the hindi movie 'Thoda sa Rumani Ho Jaaye', you would understand when I say I feel like the 'Barishkaar'. This is the story of a conman who comes to a village suffering drought, promising rains. The movie ends with he scene where the Barishkaar walks away from the village watching the rain come down.

REVERSE THE CURSE

Musings of a "Kunnamkulam Christiani"

2004-08-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

Kunnamkulam is a small town where both my parents were born and raised.

Kunnamkulam in vernacular means land with ponds and hills. This is really a misnomer as there are few hills in the area and not many ponds either. Over the years, it has gained a bad reputation as the 'duplicate capital' of the world. Fakes for goods ranging from Rolex watches to toilet soaps are readily available at most stores in 'Paara' or downtown Kunnamkulam. Most of the counterfeiting rackets have their base in this place. Due to the overwhelming presence of business minded Christian community, considered completely anathemicto culture and arts, this small town is a far cry from its near door big town of Thrissur, the place I call my hometown, known as the cultural capital of the state. Another reason for notoriety is the presence of several Z grade movie halls that screen X rated flicks.
I used to be ashamed to say that my roots lay in that town which represented nothing but greed and lust. Until last week. Until my mother told me that my uncle sold her ancestral home.
My mom's voice was breaking as I told her it was for the best as the house was unattended and slowly being infested by termites. She reminded me that it was where I took my first steps. My grandparents who were living in that house in 1977 took care of me for a few months when my mom was working in a different town. Last night, the storm and heavy rains that swept across New England caused power outages everywhere including the city I live in. As there was nothing I could do inside my room, I decided to take a stroll and the memories about my childhood came flooding to my mind.

I used to be at Kunnamkulam almost every weekend till I was like 10 years old. The main activity other than re-reading the pile of comics books was to hang out on the front porch with my cousins.All of us never missed the cheap thrill of mocking the fishmonger Johnny by imitating his calls - 'Aila, Chala, Avoli, pooooey!'. And when he would stare at us in mock anger, we would all flee indoors in unison. Late evening before the play on radio started, we would watch all the drunks totter up the street. The grown ups would also be there, discussing everything from politics to soccer games. On festivals, there would be elephants adorned with embellishment with the marching band playing popular songs. During the harvesting holidays, my grandpa would take us fishing, and we would walk back with the tiny fish that we caught like victorious warriors returning from a battle. During summer it was cashew picking time. We would always steal some seeds ignoring the pleas of the poor men who leased the orchard. The jamun tree in the church yard would turn the ground purple and you could spend the whole morning, picking the fallen fruit.

A mile or two from where my mom's house was, stood a colony where poor people from the lower castes lived. Kizhoor, as it was called was a communist bastion. During election times men with bulging muscles and chiseled bodies marching on our streets with flags with the sickle, hammer and star. Their chants still ring out in my ears
"Inquilab zindabad
Rakthasakshikal zindabad..."
Well, their efforts often went unsuccessful, as it used to be a certain seat for the Congress party. K. R. Narayanan won twice from this place.

Culture had its share here..The bard of Kerala, Vallathol Narayana Menon, lived in Kunnamkulam for many years and composed many of his poems while strolling on its streets. In fact it wasMukunda Raja a local princely chieftain was his host and helped him with establishing Kalamandalam now considered the seat of Kathakali and other performance art forms of Kerala.
As I grew up, visits to Kunnamkulam became rarer. First, it was only for holidays, later it would come down to weddings or other unavoidable occasions. I fell in love with Thrissur more and more. Many people left the town and the almost every house on the street was occupied by old and lonely people waiting for death to arrive. It was more than 7 years ago that I last went to that place.

Next time I visit India, I'll have to go to Kunnamkulam. I hope to see the short hedges where flowers grew that were boundaries of yards haven't turned to tall stone and brick walls. If the new owners are friendly, I would ask permission to see the backyard, where my uncle created a miniature golf course for us kids that we played with pieces of coconut branches and ping-pong balls. If it hasn't turned into another concrete jungle, I would go visit the old 'Sarppakkavu' to where we kids would sneak into, hoping to see cobras mate.

To all the people who ask me why even after all these years in the U.S., I still call myself an Indian all I can say is you would probably understand if you had spend your childhood in Kunnamkulam.

Best Blues Songs of all times

2004-06-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

1) Got my mojo working - (I won't get into the debate of the original lyricist and composer but to me it will always be a Muddy Waters song)

2) Cross Roads - Robert Johnson

3) Whiskey Blues - Muddy Waters

4) Boom Boom - John Lee Hooker

5) The thril is gone - B B King

6) Hoochie Goochie Man - Muddy Waters

7) Voodoo Child - Jimi Hendrix

8) Tin Pan Alley - Stevie Ray Vaughn

9) If trouble was money - Albert Collins

2004-06-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

Me, Against the World

Motorcycle Diaries

2004-06-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

Unlike almost every other men of my age, I was never really into motorcycles. No two-wheelers for that matter. I was into Moto GP for a while and used to visit the homepage of Max Biaggi , a Yamaha rider and 3 times 250cc champion, once in a while. That fantansy has worn off.

Recently on airpot wait during my trip to San Diego, I read The Motorcycle Diaries by Earnesto Guevara the Argentinian doctor, the Cigar smoking asthma patient, symbol of youth, epitome of passion and rebellion. The book was wrtitten during an adventurous motorcycle trip across Argentina, Chile and Peru a 23 year old Che and his friend Alberto embarked upon in 1952. The book is brilliant. With my already short attention span further reduced by gruelling workouts, I haven't been able to truly complete reading a book of non-fiction in the last two years. This blew me away as it was totally different from what I had expected. The Times calls it "Das Kapital meets Easy rider", but the words communism or communist appear only 7-8 times in this book. Che wasn't a communist when wrote this journal. The book doesn't have the pompous imagery and embellished portaits of the landscape. Every sentence about the terrain or the environment seems deliberately interspersed with the effect it has on his mind and body. Nevertheless it has a undeniable lyrical quality. It progresses from the imprudent spirit of wanderlust to Che discovering himself through the pain and suffering of the people he meets. Even the most hardened unromantic can not deny the pathos in his narrative, the solidariy Che feels towards the exploited people and their wretched condition. It is not difficult to see how the six months he spent on this trip shaped his beliefs and the life of revolution and sacrifice he would later lead. Anybody with even the slightest interest in Che should make a it a point to read this memoir.

Now I am a convert. I am seriously thinking of getting my motorcycle license (it would cost me around 300 bucks) and join some riding club. I've heard that biker groups are white supremacist bastards, into crimes like drug traficking (Hell's Angels, for sure), but its worth giving a shot.

A movie based on this book made by the Spanish director Walter Salles, has been released- I am waiting for the DVD to be available on Netflix.

My kind of Rock

2004-06-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

I always thought myself to be rock-blues, Clapton, SRV, Hendrix and Doors kinda guy, but according to quizilla not anymore

Numetal... You make some good stuff! The other
genres don't really like you but you reach the
masses with your touching lyrics... Just
remember it isn't all about fame...

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Best of Gangsta Rap

2004-05-24T21:18:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Gangsta Songs of all time

1) Keep the Heads Ringin - Dr Dre

2) Nothin but a G Thang - Snoop Dogg

3) Bow Down - Westside Connection

4) F**k the Police - NWA

5) Gangsta Gangsta - NWA

6) Two of America's Most Wanted - Tupac Shakur & Snoop Dogg

7) Natural Born Killaz - Ice Cube

8) Let me Ride - Dr Dre

9) Regulate - Warren G.

10 Thug Life - Tupac

Measure of Strength

2004-05-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Any member of the male gender knows well that a question most men would have no problem in lying is about how much they can bench. For ignorants it means how much weight you can bench-press using a bar and plates. Well, it might the second in the list with the first place is obviously, well.. the lenght of.. you get it, right? Anyways, I'll be honest with you and tell you mine. It's 205 lbs. Yes, a 45 and 35 on each side of a 45 lb bar. But here are certain assumptions

a) The bench has to be wide enough fo enough back support.

b) The height of the stand should be adjustable. Or else the weight is unfavourably distributed on the shoulders or the triceps or the forearms.

c) We're talking about 1 rep max here. I can do 1 set with 5-6 reps of 185 lb

I really don't need a spotter. Infact I lift less if I have a spotter unless I am very comfortable with him. I ususally go to the gym alone as my male friends are contend playing tennis !!!.

Till recently I was under the impression that strength was measured only by bench statistics. The rule of thumb, as I came to believe that if you could bench more than your body weight, you were strong. I was feeling pretty happy about myself. Alas, all that came crumbling down when I read on a bodybuilding website that bench press alone wouldn't give me the entry into the order of strong men. You had to squat your body weight too. Damn! I am the most weak kneed person you would ever find. Not just when asking a girl out. Yes, infront of the squat rack too. I can barely do 135!.

P-Modernism

2004-05-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

When I was in my late teens and early 20's (my high school and college years), the hallowed word of postmordernism was one heard all over the place. Articles and books that taked about this topic in length were plenty then. The city I was living in, Thrissur, called the cultural capital of Kerala (my state) was overpopulated with beard-sporting, khadi kurta-clad intellectuals, often jibed by the public as 'buji', short for 'budhijeevi, a word in vernacular signifying a pretentious erudite. I had a secret desire to be part of that clan. I knew I had no literary skills, but it wasn't really necessary for membership.

Some of the requirements where:

You must correctly pronounce "Sartre", "Camus" and "Heidegger".
You must user the word "Andardhara", which means innner current, wherever you could.

And, of course you had to know what postmodernism was. Atleast you had to be convincing. Internet was still nascent and we're talking about pre-google days here. Moreover the dial up connection from home was not viable, as it incurred STD (equivalent of long distance in the US, but varies with distance) charges to the nearest city with an internet gateway. So magazines and books were the only refuge left. One the first books I read that talked about about Postmodernism was "The Marriage of Sense and Soul" by Ken Wilber, considered by many as one of the greatest thinkers of modern day. This book was NOT about postmodernism. The intention of the book was the integration of religion and science, a formidable endeavor few would even attempt. Like the people who had ventured before him, Wilber fails too. He essentialises religion into the 'Great Nest' as in Eastern mysticism and completely fails to capture the emotions of fear, guilt and desire for everlasting afterlife that are at the core of the religions of the Judaistic origin. Science is misinterpreted as entirely of empirical and reductionist nature. The only opinion Wilber has to offer postmodernism is ridicule. Do not read it to know postmordernism. If you are one of the many who could read through Tao of Physics in less than 6 months, I think he might be interesting to you. My present knowledge of Postmodernism, is through the internet (thanks to google), which I think is itself truly a postmodern phenomenon. Let me break it down in very simple terms what I understand of all this stuff.

Modernism - Focussed, rational and close to science and technology. Rejects sentimentality. Stresses on utility, meaning and direction. Believes everthing should be directed toward the "good" of the human society. And the "good" is always expected to be defined by the elite few (like the few who have experienced the outside in Plato's allegory of the cave) and the majority expected to accept that definition. Tries to potray poeple, events and ideas in black and white. Judgemental. Promotes univalence in everything. Howard Roark (the superhero in Ayn Rand's FountainHead) is the epitome for mordernism.

Postmodernism - Eclectic and accommodating. Is pluralistic and cosmopolitan. Instead of
trying to be normative, it tries to explain and shed a nuetral light on the subject. Can be accused of being playful, aimless and irresponsible. Extreme Postmodernism views science and even reason, as just different paradigms. It doesn't frown at recognizing pop culture and its importance and influence. Postmodern art forms tend to be part of a genre and also talk about the genre. They are conscious of their shortcomings, their failure to portray reality. Postmodernism tries to debunk the notion of high and low culture and sees diffent cultures as diferent areas on the same plain.

Again, don't get the impression that postmodernism is all anti-modernism. It is critique of modernism.
Most people today have been influenced by Postmodernism heavily. That the same person enjoys the catchy beer commercial as much as Don Giovanni is proof enough that the field has been levelled (well, the Don Giovanni part may be a little far fetched, but I hope you get the point).

To be continued..( I've just finished my second drink of a really good Jamaican Rum. I should go to sleep now)

Deep Point

2004-05-16T05:40:00.000-07:00

It's clear that people have given a mandate against the neo-capitalistic economic reforms carried out by the various governments for the last 14 years. The new breed of Indian bourgeoisie who run 'yatras' on the infromation superhighway(that includes me to an extent), have convinced themselves that they are the voice of India. Wrong. The rest of the people in India just spoke otherwise. From the posts I read, this still has not been a sufficient jolt to shake the netizens out of their deep somnambulism. The media, was elated about the economic prosperity which was very much like the emperor's new clothes for the common man. The commentary in the Telegraph(UK) about the Indian elections was poignant.
""India Shining" shed its rays only on that sector of the population that was epitomised for the West by software outsourcing and call centres in states such as Karnataka and Andra Pradesh. For the nearly two thirds of Indians who live off the land, among whom Mrs Gandhi campaigned vigorously, little had changed under BJP rule. Their prime requirements are running water, electricity and jobs. Lacking those, they used their votes to remind New Delhi and the wider world that development in their country is very uneven."

The show of the left has been impressive, though it can attributed to regional issues and disillussionment with their rivals. Even the most optimist among the leftists would have not expected such an outcome. They are all set to share power with the Congress. What does this situation mean to India and its future? One fact is certain - economic reforms over the last 14 years cannot be reversed. They could be slowed down though and that's what the left would like to do. More spending would mean more taxes and the less fiscal discipline. More taxes aren't totally a bad thing in my opinion. Higher income tax on the salaried class was Yashwant Sinha's approach. That is still the sane thing to do.

Another ministry the left would be looking at would be HRD. Murali Manaohar Joshi had started the process of saffronizing NCERT and all the educational institutions in the name of national pride. That will be reveresed. I even expect Romila Thapar, the historian Sangh loves to hate will be given the protfolio. And with scant presence of the Sangh ideologues in the parliament, this will not atract attention. This will piss NRI's off because they are the most in need of this 'national pride' thing.

Can't get this out of my head...

2004-05-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

gandh ki ek nahar tumse mujh tak bahti hai.
kitna kuch anjina, kitna kuch ankaha,
vishwa samvedanaon ka baha lati hai,
mujhse tum tak, tumse mujh tak.

mujhse tum tak aviram bahti hai
ek nahar gandh ki.

yahi..shayad yahi sangati hai is sambandh ki
jise arth dene ko darpan par jhuki ladki
ghanton pareshan rahti hai.
gandh ki is nahar par taer kar na sahi main,
mera geet aa sakta hai;
sparsh tumhare ekaanth ko pa sakta hai.
haan..yahi parinati hai is sambandh ki.
mujhse tum tak aviram bahti hai
ek nahar gandh ki.

-- poet unknown

Heartbreak

2004-05-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

I thought this past few weeks life has been treating me pretty bad. I lost almost my entire music collection after a trip from San Diego. My car required major TLC with an oil gasket replacement, a broken AC belt and coolant change - had to part with 400 bucks. Then last week my nomination for a promotion that I was almost certain of getting (I even pooh-poohed it as pity-promotion) was truned down !!. I hurt my ankle preventing me from running or doing anything serious with my lower body. But none of the above came even close to the pain I experienced this evening.

Yes, it was the fateful game of hoops with San Antonio Spurs trying to retain home court advantage against the resurgent Lakers. Lakers led most part of the game with excellent defense, double-teaming Duncan and Parker.The lead was 42-35 at half time. San Antonio had a terrific fourth quarter, with Duncan and Parker making up for the sloppy 3 quarters. The drama begins with 5.2 secs left in the game. LA leads 72-71.

SA calls its last full timeout. They have a plan. Parker inbounds and the ball finally lands in the hands of Duncun who is about 18 feet away. Tightly guarded, he makes the shot! SA ups by 1. 0.4 secs left on the clock!!

Lakers immediately take their last timeout. Everybody knows Phil has something up his sleeve, but seriously all they have is 0.4 sec!! Nobody gives them any chance of winning.

San Antonio responds by a 20 sec timeout. Tony Parker is replaced by Robert Horry.

Lakers respond with a 20 sec. They need to change tactics now.

Everybody expects a pass to Shaq and a slam dunk. The inbound pass goes to Derek Fisher who shoots frantically as a gunslinger in Russian Roulette in a western town. As the ball oozes through the rim, kissing the net, the buzzer sounds.

Un-f**king-believable. It's 3-2 Lakers. San Antonio can kiss home court advantage good bye. It's win or go home fishing in the river.

It still hurts. I might need to borrow some of my roommate's vodka to sleep well tonight.

For all those non-believers who scoff at the NBA, calling the games fixed, I tell you I love it this way. I don't care if it is fixed. I love it this way. The drama, the climax of the playoff games is what makes our summer nights worth living.

I love this game!

Indian Elections - the real losers

2004-05-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

For the fisrt time in many months I decided to visit Indian news sites on the internet as the election results poured in. I am not overjoyed at the results, but not unhappy either. The most striking of all that unraveled was how off-target the opinion and exit polls were. I can now laugh out loud at the media and its "know all" pretensions. In the last few years they have convinced themselves that internet is the medium to understand the pulse of India. This just showed how wrong that assumption was. Hope this would be a good lesson for them to understand the real India.